Welcome to all my new readers! (And of course a warm greeting to all of my loyal subscribers.) - Thank you for signing up for ps.

First, a quick announcement:

I am planning to launch a national book club, PearlTalk™, to start in late spring. I thought this was a good year to put our focus on our most precious asset—our relationships. So our first book will be The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. We will probably spend 5-6 calls on it. If you want me to put you on the list for registration information as it comes out send me an e-mail! And if there are other books you would like to have considered—send your suggestions along as well.

Our hearts — their wisdom, their fragility and power to heal are my topic this month. On January 27th my husband and I marked our 18th wedding anniversary. On that same day, a colleague of mine launched, Take Your Heart to Work Day. “What would it be like”, she asked me, “if we could trust the wisdom in our hearts and connect with our colleagues from that place?” Days later, a client of mine sent me an essay on The Politics of the Brokenhearted written by Parker Palmer. It was written almost 4 years ago and while the political reality he describes has shifted, the power of his ideas is undiminished. Clearly “heart” needed my attention.

I want to share just a few of his ideas that speak to us as people first and foremost and that I believe have tremendous power in our homes and workplaces.

Palmer holds out the power of broken heartedness in this way,

“Imagine that small clenched fist of a heart ‘broken open’ into largeness of life, into greater capacity to hold one’s own and the world’s pain and joy. Who among us has not seen evidence in our own or other people’s lives, that compassion and grace can be the fruits of great suffering? Here heartbreak becomes a source of healing, enlarging our empathy and extending our ability to reach out.”

The problem is that usually, in response to heartbreak, our instinct is to shut down, close off or lash out. It is precisely in those moments when we need to practice keeping our heart open. Palmer points to three practices:

1. Look inward to the illusions that have brought me this pain. (e.g. ‘I can have my life on my own terms’ or ‘we are all good and our enemies are all bad’)
2. Stop numbing yourself from the pain and stay with it and feel it as fully as you can. (You don’t always have to be strong, in control or the calm and peaceful leader!)
3. Create space for “purposeless wandering” and confusion so that a deeper wisdom can emerge. (It is not always better to act quickly; knee-jerk reactions can set off an unanticipated chain of events. Allow the agitation to settle and a new perspective to emerge.)

Palmer goes on to talk about how we can allow our hearts to be broken open in the face of Fundamentalism. He closes with a discussion of what violence is and therefore what non-violence is- he offers concrete views in the workplace and in communities and our homes. It is powerful and worth reading in his own words. I leave you with this quote. It is very much in the sprit of Take Your Heart to Work Day. Perhaps you will try it.

“…The third way is non-violence, by which I mean a commitment to act in every situation in ways that honor the soul… If we want to walk the third way, it is important to see how simple such steps can be—and it is equally important to see that they are not as simple as they may look! It is daunting to ask honest, open questions in a corporate culture that values speed above thoughtfulness or to evoke personal stories in a workplace where people are cautious and self protective or to invite truth telling in a field where people habitually dissemble to protect themselves and their colleagues.”

I wish you a community of like-minded people who can create the “ground on which to stand” as you take steps to make room for a “broken-open” heart in your world.